Language Barrier
by NitroStation
Summary: TFA: 'I don't speak German but I can if you like...' Blitzwing/Blackarachnia oneshot, rated for sexual references.


_Something that's been biting at me ever since I heard 'Schiesse' by Lady Gaga. Cause that first line = instant Blitzarachnia thoughts. Overall, still not _totally _happy with how such an antagonistic relationship suddenly escalated to 'hidden one-sided love', but hey, whaddayagonnado._

_Google Translate abuse warnings ahead, but I DID put phrases through several times to ensure even a smidge of accuracy, but native German speakers please don't bite my head off if it ends up horrifically butchered._

_Also German is one damn sexy language._

**xx**

Blackarachnia stared at the computer screen before her with impatient distaste, eyes glossing over the lines of text and binary that were being screened and downloaded. The act of having to download something was bad enough- nothing worse than having a cluttered processor. But it seemed that having to manually retrieve data herself was becoming a standard part of her routine- every day she had to adapt her mind to understand the vast cosmos that she'd been previously separated from for so long. Not long enough.

Of all the ships in the cosmos that could have chanced upon Archa Seven that day, it had to be a Decepticon one.

More specifically, a ship manned by the three most insufferable Decepticons she ever had the misery of meeting.

Starscream made a point of averting his optics from Blackarachnia when she was first dragged into the dreaded chambers of the Nemesis. Lugnut took one glance at her and went promptly back to his habitual speeches- his favourite topic; the 'endless glory' of Megatron. And her captor, Blitzwing...

Well, at least he made an effort.

"_OOOOH_ I JUZT _LOVE _HIDE UND SEEK!" a shrill cackle tore across Blackarachnia's audios as she leaped through the undergrowth, the voice only growing closer the further she retreated into the forest. She only allowed herself to stop when she heard the chortles finally die away into the distance. Skidding to a stop, she bent over from the exhertion of so much running, hands on her knees and panting heavily. She knew this was going to be a _long _day as soon as she set four eyes on the colossal shadow taking up a third of the morning sky. She tried to ignore it, going about her usual practice of hunting the forests for food and warding off surrounding predators- the spiders filling _that _role all too nicely. Her initial plan worked out well, for all of two klicks. That's when Blitzwing decided to make his debut.

_"Come out come out verever ju aaaare,"_ the manic mech lilted, holding a servo comically over his optics in a lookout stance, scouting all around him for the runaway femme. Blackarachnia growled in contempt as she leapt into a tree overhead, splayed against the bark with Blitzwing emerging below the branches. He danced excitedly on his peds for a few seconds before running off to the left. Blackarachnia sighed with relief, optics daring to shutter closed. When she opened them though, two mismatched red optics stared back.

"Found ju," the unfamiliar blue-faced mech smirked, pinning Blackarachnia by her spider legs against the tree before she could incite an attack. Primus, there were _two _of them?! Same body frames, but different helms... She thrashed against his restraining servos, attempting to kick out at him. A leg caught between hers though, holding them apart and robbing them of any power.

"Now now, fraulein, it'z not very _ladylike _to treat jour _rescuers _in such a vay," he tutted as she stared daggers right into him. _'Rescuers? The slag is he talking about?!' _She resolved to find out by politely asking- with a spray of spit aimed at his damn smiling face. One optic widened to almost match the other in shock, and suddenly his entire helm spun in a whirlwind. Her smirk warped into a look of confusion as the previous blue faceplate was replaced by a screaming, gap-toothed red one.

"JU LITTLE _SCHIEßE _GLITCH! I'LL HAVE JOUR FRAGGING HEAD FOR ZAT!" he bellowed, the grip on her legs almost crushing the metal and her faceplate frosting over from the blast of freezing air that his yell expelled over her. Her upper row of eyes were spared from the stream of ice and widened with realisation.

_'Three mechs in one body...' _Things just took a turn for the twisted.

"_Ooh ooh ooh can ve mount ze pretty head on our vall?_" Blackarachnia didn't even notice the faceplate switching back again to the black, grinning potrait of insanity that had so graciously ruined her morning- wait... _pretty _head? _"Vait vait, nein, I'd much rather mount somezing _else!"

_'Primus dammit girl, _stop _thinking about that damn day!" _she chastised herself with a punch to her helm, sat in front of the computer screen and idily fiddling with the data cable connecting her processor to the info port. Why was she sitting here aga- oh yes, the download. It was a special translation package, tailored for one language in particular- German. One that Blitzwing had taken to using under his air cyles, much to the chagrin of his comrades. Blackarachnia especially. She didn't know nor care to know how the triple changer ended up with such a unique- and annoying- voice, but if anything could make him a _tad _less insufferable, then it would be being able to understand half of what he said. Allegedly his accent originated from some fusion of various Kaon and Praxus dialects- and Blitzwing always took the opportunity to gloat upon the fact of his voice being widely used as a standard for the earth nation of Germany. Once again, didn't know how and didn't care to know. All that mattered to her right now was getting the Primus-given ability to decipher that accent. Taking it in, chopping it up, savouring it...

A sudden _ping _snagged in her audios and pulled her out of _that _dangerous ravine of thought. The download was complete.

She'd try it out this evening. How fortunate that she and Blitzwing had surveillance duty together...

**xx**

The opportunity arrived five klicks after the door closed behind her.

Blitzwing stood with his back to her when she entered, presiding over the console before him with digits poised over the keys, inputting data to the security logs. An exhale of air through his vents was all he gave as an indicator of acknowledging her presence. She held back from hissing at him in contempt as she took up her station next to his, opening up various surveillance video feeds on her own console's screen before seating herself. Business as usual, or as far as she could see. Blitzwing kept his attention to his own screen, not even sending a mocking glance towards her. Blackarachnid almost hoped that she could go the rest of the evening _without _having to suffer him- a hope that was drained along with the energon cube in her hand as she took a sip from it.

"Typical zat ju would need ze extra sustainance..." he muttered loudly in a sigh, still typing away. Her fangs gritted in frustration at the insult.

"Are you _implying _something, Blitzwing?" she asked in as calm a tone as she could force into her vocaliser, eyes stuck to the screen in front of her.

"Only zat juor organic form continues to prove itzelf... inferior." As always, going right for the heart.

"And your insults _continue _to prove themselves..." She paused, rolling her helm towards his in a tilt and adopting a disapproving expression. "Pretentious." Blitzwing scoffed at her rebuttal, and Blackarachnia thought she had won this round from his silence. Random's arrival soon corrected her.

_"Vhat a _big_ vord for ju!"_ he cheered, leaning across the console towards her and almost smashing his black faceplate against hers. She recoiled from him with a hiss, digging her claws into the console as she pushed herself away. Blitzwing giggled at her reaction, tapping his digits together in glee as Blackarachnia scoffed.

"Six forms and all of them insufferable... and ugly," she huffed, trying to return to work while Blitzwing's faceplate reverted back to blue.

"At least _mein _forms are all _pure," _he retorted coldly, promptly returning to his own screen as Blackarachnia's face twisted in rage at the jab right at her spark. That fragger _knew _how much she loathed her organic half, and the small scars still on his face from previous insults were proof of that_. _

"_You take that back!" _she warned venomously, narrowing her eyes and baring her fangs. Blitzwing barely took the time to flick his optics to her and roll them back, completely dismissing her threat. Her talons gouged deeper into the console as she somehow held back from clawing them into his neck. In her cloud of rage her CPU automatically clicked over to a new command, and the process reached her vocaliser before she could even confirm it.

"_Verdammt trottel_," she muttered furiously under her breath. Blitzwing's digits suddenly froze over the keys, wings stiffening at the sound of her words.

"Vut did ju say?" he asked, turning his helm slowly towards her and faceplate in...wonder? Blinking her top set of optics in confusion, Blackarachnia repeated herself louder, smirk at the ready for when Hothead jumped up. In three, two, one...

Nothing.

_'What a waste of storage space,' _Blackarachnia thought with a small frown as Blitzwing simply stood still as stone, helm still pointed to her as she tried to focus back on the screen. Her use of German _did _have some kind of effect on him, but rather than acting as an incitement for rage, it just made him... creepy...ier than usual.

She resolved to ignore his stare and await for whatever had come over him to wear off, and only turned her helm again when her chronometer measured at half a breem passed. A glance over showed that Blitzwing had since returned to work, but it a twitching and... distracted state. Her glance lingered enough for her to catch his optics flicking over to her, before hastily retreating back to the glow of the screen.

_'Primus... how long has he been _doing _that?' _Blackarachnia thought with a scowl as she suddenly whirled around to confront him.

"What's your malfunction, Three Face?!" she growled, eyes wide and brimming with an angry red glare. Blitzwing's own were lopsided with surprise, darting left and right as they sought an explanation for his behaviour.

"Well, it'z juzt..." His digits tapped together again, a slow and nervous gesture that made Blackarachnia wonder why she didn't just send a leg through his damn chassis and be done with it all. She didn't trust how measured his tone was now, not a hint of scorn or smugness that she could detect. Before she could delve any deeper into whatever mockeries he might have been hiding, his next words stilled her processor.

"_Sie haben eine schöne stimme..._" he said quietly, walking slightly closer to her with a soft glow in his optics. Blackarachnia translated it through her haze of bewilderment;

_'You have a beautiful voice...'_

She was too stunned by the compliment to react. Blitzwing as well seemed equally uncomfortable with the situation, and swiftly turned back to his workstation while the spider tried to stammer out a reply.

_"Und... ein schönes gesicht," _he confessed in a near whisper, and Blackarachnia thought her audios were glitching into all Pit. '_And a beautiful face...'_ Did he really just... _compliment _her? After so long of taking insults, chiding and general scorn from the Decepticon and suddenly he just comes out with- well, not _suddenly, _it was obvious that her switch from using standard English had brought it on_, _but... with all her research on the German language, it was never once listed as _romantic. _

I-I-you..." Blackarachnia's servos gesticulated rapidly as she tried to express a reaction, imitating the chaos that her thoughts were in. She couldn't give an appropriate voice to them, no matter how hard she worked her vocaliser to do so. As her processor clicked back over to the _other _setting though, one word swam to the surface of her mind crisp and clear.

"_Danke,"_ she said with a slight accent like Blitzwing's, and his helm twitched again at the sound of it. His optics started glancing at her again- she knew because her own eyes had found themselves locked onto him. She'd never really taken any valuable time to assess Blitzwing- or any Decepticon for that matter- in terms of appearance but... No. He _wasn't _handsome. She refused to believe or see that. And she said it over and over in her mind until it as well accepted it as fact. Not his peds, servos, wings, turrets, faceplate inching closer and lips crashing against hers-

Blackarachnia barely registered how quickly he had her pulled into a kiss before she felt herself stiffening in his grasp, body numb all over except from where her mouth was being warmed by Blitzwing's own. She would have slapped his helm off his neck if she could have wrestled a servo out of his embrace- _Primus _he had a tight hold, and such soft lips... Her top pair of eyes fluttered in a fight to stay open, refusing to give into such childish charms that begetted intimacy. _'The frag is he _doing?!_'_ was a popular thought of her's as Blitzwing finally pulled his face away, still holding her close as Blackarachnia looked incredulously at him.

"_E-entschuldigen sie bitte," _he aplogised in a rush of words, instantly releasing her and looking at his servos as if they'd just grown fur. "I don't know vhat came ova' me..." His enlarged optic was plastered to the ground with the other kept a careful watch on her, waiting for a servo to come into vision and slap him for his blind audacity. Primus, was his processor really so glitched that it was even interfering in his love life? Or... lack of love life.

Scheiße, not _that _again. He was half-expecting the aforementioned servo to come skidding across his face- even _hoping _it, at least Hothead could then step in and deal with the whole situation for him while he went ahead and wallowed in his own self pity. Just as well it came a klick later, sending his neck askew as his faceplate whirled in a miniature tornado.

Blackarachnia had just pulled her servo back from the slap when it was grabbed back by Blitzwing, red visor glowering at her as a gap-toothed yell resounded in her audios.

"JU' WILL ACCEPT MEIN LOVE UND AFFECTION OR ELSE, INSECT!" She knew she'd have at least one encounter with one of Blitzwing's less... savoury personas, but she managed to block _that _little inconvienience from her mind while it tried to understand just what the slag was going on with him right now.

"The _frag _are you talking abo-"

"WHEN JU' ARE NOT ATTEMPTING TO KILL ME, I FIND JUR PRESENCE PLEAZING AND JUR PHYSICAL FORM ATTRACTIVE!" If the force of his yells wasn't enough to paralyse Blackarachnia, then the shock of his confessions would have done the job just as well. None of it made any _sense, _but she knew trying to glean any reason from his frenzied fury would be pointless. In a last ditch effort to avoid losing her slipping sanity, she grated through her vocaliser:

_"Du ließ mich los _rechten _diesem augenblick oder-"_

_"UNMÖGLICH!" _he screamed back, grip tightening on her wrists. With the noise he was making someone should have burst through the door by now to detain him, but the Nemesis' passengers were all too familiar with Hothead's rants- and all too many of them familiar with the painful consequences that came with interrupting them.

_"Und warum zum _ficken_ ist dass?"_ she hissed back, unable to stretch her back legs far enough to touch to his armour. Primus, if she could just tase him for a klick she'd be out of there faster than Starscream at the sound of Megatron's footsteps. Hothead took in a heated ventful of air from a series of growls and stretched his jaw to its limit with his resulting shout.

"**BECAUSE JUR GERMAN TURNS ME ON, NOW **_**MUND HALTEN **_**AND KISS ME ALREADY YOU GORGEOUS GLITCH!"**

Soft lips suddenly against purple again, this time joned by a glossa that twisted itself into Blackarachnia's mouth as she was pushed against the wall, wrists held out to her sides and back legs near immobilised as they were trapped. Blackarachnia tried to fight back as much as she could, but... _frag, _he knew how to kiss. Lips massaging her's as his glossa assaulted her's passionately, legs overlapping her's so she could feel the heat of his codpiece- well, he wasn't kidding about the whole 'turning me on' thing. Needless to say, being trapped in a tongue wrestle wasn't the most ideal setting for contemplation, but Blackarachnia refused to just accept that someone found her _attractive _in that way- least of all _Blitzwing_. But... would it really be the end of the world if that really _was _the case?

Okay, frag it, he was handsome. One _Primus damn _handsome motherfragger. She admitted it- hell, screamed it out to the whole galaxy from the moans that slipped through the gaps between their lips. Game over, thanks for playing, better luck next life. What was she supposed to do now, just let him worm those claws under her armour and accept that he was going to royally _frag her brains out?_

From the way her legs had found themselves wrapped around his waist; Yes, it seemed. Yes she damn well was.

When her lips started to gently kiss back, she found that at some point his faceplate had reverted back to blue, both optics shuttered closed, and her servos had betrayed her before her processor did in hanging themselves around his helm and pushing him even closer.

"Our shift endz in three cyclez, mein schätzchen," he purred when he finally broke away; lips grazing over her faceplate as his servos held her legs in place around his waist, claws caressing her thighs and one optic not-so-slyly centred on her chestplates. Blackarachnia heaved out hot gasps of air as her optics noticed a small door just next to them.

"I can't wait that long," Blackarachnia said before pulling him into the storage closet, firmly locking the door.


End file.
